Good: Put your true orientation on your social networking page, (I'm Bi). Meh: Your future parents-in-law don't have social media sites so you're in the clear. AWFUL: You're future sister-in-law does, and she's a gossip. #LFMF

There are four levels of competence: Conscious Incompetence (you know you suck), Unconscious Incompetence (you think you rock, but you suck), Unconscious Competence (you think you suck, but you sort of rock), and Conscious Competence (You rock and you know it). Know which one you are before you brag your 12 year old cousin how good you are at Halo. #LFMF

When visiting a college you know your cousin (whom you haven't seen in 15 years) goes to, do NOT hit on the really cute waitress at the pizza shop. It will be the most awkward moment of your life when you get her number, put it in your phone, and realize it's already there under "Cousin Stef". #LFMF

When getting home from work to find your wife bent over the kitchen table prepairing food, ensure it is your wife and not a family member who suddenly stopped by out the blue before grabbing her ass and pretending to ride her. No amount of anything will ever make that relationship normal again. #LFMF

Before the family reunion, remind 95-year old Gramma that your cousin Matt is Bi POLAR, not Bi SEXUAL, or else she will have an interesting conversation with Matt's new girlfriend about his "man loving years." #LFMF

If your brother and his boyfriend are fighting, and are standing next to a bookshelf, vacate the room at once. being hit by a dictionary is very painful, and nobody will stop to ask if you are ok. #LFMF

Even though you hate your nephew, best not to post it on FB. You will get an angry call. #LFMF