waitress

"The man was upset from the beginning because he didn't get his muffin in a timely manner."

I'm surprised he didn't call his lawyer, because he seems just about that finnicky.

What? You're just gonna leave your best buddy at a restaurant on his birthday? Who cares if you have things like "a job" to do? And who cares if it's not actually his birthday?

Whatever you do, best buddies of the world, you do NOT leave the other half of the Dream Team hanging!

Did they order a round of Cosmotinis or something?

I recall the first time I received a surprise prostate exam at dinner. Those were the times, indeed.