salary

"It's genetic, man! I was born this way and I'll never change!"

"Whoa. Way too deep."

On the one hand: How inspiring! Someone who cares enough about our children's education to make sacrifices for it!

On the other hand: This is what we're forced to do now? Have some people go to making minimum wage to adequately finance education? Oh, economy, you're screwed up.

~OLJ

Man, I feel so sorry for those "lower-class" people that have to work for fun. It's a rough world out there in this down economy.

Homo sapiens know that feel as well, bro.

Let's say you spend ten minutes a day on the pot at work. Five out of seven days a week are work days, which makes 260 days a year. Subtract two weeks (ten work days) for paid vacation and throw in some more off days for holidays, and you end up with around 240 work days left over. Based on this, if you work at a job for 10 years at the median American personal hourly income of $16.57 an hour (source: U.S. Department of Labor) working a typical eight hour day, that adds up to $132.56. Based on our ten-minute average (or 1/48 of a work day), that's $2.76 earned for every poop session. Multiply that by the work days in a year, and the years in a career, and voila:

You would earn $3,314.00 in a five-year career while pooping. You would earn $6,629.00 in a ten-year career while pooping. You would earn $13,255.00 in a 20-year career while pooping. You would earn $26,512.00 in a 40-year career while pooping.

If you saved these earnings over a 40-year time frame with tax exemption as long as the funds aren't withdrawn, based on today's mutual fund NAVs, your savings would total just shy of $103,000.

That's enough to cover the median sales price of houses in six states.

Time for a bathroom break!

What's that? Drinks are on me all night? It's all good! Not like I can't afford it!

"Fascinating."

Now if only we could do away with those pesky 40-hour-a-week rules... I know! If we got rid of minimum wage, I'd be able to work for less and my boss would give me more hours! #trollpolitics

Don't make fun of me guys, I can put two and two together! That makes double-two, right?

They left out the part where the big burly men show up at your front door with baseball bats and break your legs.