receipt

Did they order a round of Cosmotinis or something?

You might have missed it because of that distracting rectangle, but the receipt is filled with delightful examples of a cashier whose power has gone to his head. His Holiness indeed.

~OLJ

Be sure to send in your misleading mail-in rebate as well, which gives you store credit that's only redeemable for, like, five days, and takes six to eight months to get mailed back to you!

Don't miss out on this lame-ass opportunity!

I'm such a good (self) tipper!

What's more precious than the innocent laughter of a child?

One angel food cake: $6.95. Seeing the look on your buddy's face when his free steak salad costs him two weeks' salary: priceless.

"All right sir, we have a 90-day 'no friendzone warranty which covers you being clingy and overly emotional. Would you like to purchase the Jealousy upgrade for only $49.99 more?"