poop

Sometimes he should mess around with everyone's regular pooping times by placing free bran muffins in the break room.

~OLJ

What's that? You're complaining that we're posting too many poop jokes today? Relax, this one is only number two.

"Team, There is an issue in the Men's restroom located next to the [censored] account. Someone is marking the restroom wall, in the first closet stall, with feces in the shape of a swastika. This is the fourth time in the last year this act has been done. This is not only disgusting but it is a safety health issue. If caught you will be terminated as this is not a joke or funny in any way. If you know anything about this please let me know so we can address this issue ASAP."

Warning: language.

Dollar Shave Club has the solution to your poopy problems: One Wipe Charlies! The softest, cleanest, fastest manliest way to handle your business.

Also that's a fun calling in sick from work excuse we should all use at least once.