hp

He may be an autobot, but his pages-per-minute rate is "deceptively" high...

My lil' homie Hewlett died tonight!

I got spam from HP today. To unsubscribe, the instructions were to email this chick back, and she would get around to it within 7 days. This was my response. I hope she writes back. I'll drag this out forever.

Right now, I can't help but picture a little Scumbag Steve perched on the logos of all the printer ink companies out there.

Thanks, HP. Good to know you're there for your customers.

Get your quickly liquidating, soon-to-be-unsupported semi-mobile device today!

Uhh, could I just... y'know... take one of those? It's not like you need ALL of them, right?

Here we see an ad for HP touting their ultrarealistic printing ability. Sorry guys, but creepiness doesn't get any less creepier in laser quality.