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Samsung: Everything Apple Is Only With a Bigger Screen

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We Saw a 500 Percent Rise in Quarterly Profits

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Holiday bonuses for everyone!

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I KNEW They Were Holding Out On Me

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WHY

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I don't think anyone actually knows what else is on the extra long candy receipt, but it's probably very important.

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Damn You, Instagram!

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Makes Perfect Sense!

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But That Makes Too Much Sense

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Isn't That How We All Get to Work?

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What is This? A Baseball Stadium?

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Oh God, I Accidentally Said "Regarded" Instead of "Regards!"

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They're going to think I'm an idiotic failure!!!

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Please Don't Let Me Die in an Elevator

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You've Got a Lot of Work to Do, NSA

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And in the Process, Ruining this Commute for All of Us!

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Nobody wants to hear "Jump Around" at full volume on their morning commute.

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You've Been Promoted to Manager!

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The DMV: The only workplace where doing your job poorly and mouthing off to customers is encouraged!

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The Exciting World of Tech Support

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