chair

It's a desk that's attached to an elliptical machine. The machine is "designed to be pedaled at slower cadences that won't break one's concentration (or cause one to break a sweat." I don't know why anyone would need these, I just run in place while I'm seated at my desk. Burns more calories, and the impact of the foot hitting the floor builds more muscle.

"We appreciate a straight shooter around here!"

Dude, you're getting a Dell!

and every other day of the week... for the rest of his life