It's like a white-collar Jean Valjean who has a job, but is still so poor that he has to steal energy bars in order to feed his family. He is hunted down relentlessly by coworker Javert.
~Office Lackey Jack
This mentality even though that gaping hole in the plastic seal has probably been sitting there for quite some time. People logic.
Buddha would brew the pot exactly halfway, Zeus would drink the rest of the coffee and wait for someone else to fill it, and Shiva doesn't need any caffeine.
"Delightful" and "charming" are the KINGS of passive-aggressive terminology. Well done.
Found on the fridge this morning
Keeping employees' thieving hands away from a stack of beer is like keeping an ADD person's eyes from looking at a squirrel.
Wouldn't bananas have been more appropriate?
And if you can't file it as a dependency, maybe you can count poor, starving co-workers as tax-deductible charities. #financejokesaresomuchfun
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I ate that tuna salad that he'd melt my brain.