http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4BNbHBcnDI&feature=player_detailpage

It's like a white-collar Jean Valjean who has a job, but is still so poor that he has to steal energy bars in order to feed his family. He is hunted down relentlessly by coworker Javert.

~Office Lackey Jack

It's like an office version of Ghostwriter, but evil.

90s PBS shows

~OLJ

this box takes up half the fridge and has been in there for a week. sign left as a result.

Resistance to puns is futensile.

And if you can't file it as a dependency, maybe you can count poor, starving co-workers as tax-deductible charities. #financejokesaresomuchfun

~Office Lackey Jack

Our office has about six choices of tea: Three black teas, one green tea, and two mint teas. The black teas run out first, and when they're gone, everyone gripes about it and grimaces whenever they slurp their insufferably sweetened tea. Once I saw someone crying in the corner.

~OLJ

Buddha would brew the pot exactly halfway, Zeus would drink the rest of the coffee and wait for someone else to fill it, and Shiva doesn't need any caffeine.

Did anyone else see this and think of strippers? No? Never mind.

Keeping employees' thieving hands away from a stack of beer is like keeping an ADD person's eyes from looking at a squirrel.