accident

Think about it: no traffic, no guard rails, no shoulder, plenty of visibility. Seriously, how are you both so dumb that you get into an accident in these kinds of conditions?

"Hello, Farmers Insurance? I've had an accident... can you give me a quick quote for repairs?"

From the Reddit submitter:

I set up continental breakfast in a hotel where guests constantly set croissants on fire in the toaster... My boss put this up in our kitchen after I suggested we have a class on how to use a toaster (I'm Brendan).

... AND I'm in good hands! Suck it, Allstate!

"One explanation is that stressful deadlines lead to driver distraction and worsen short-term human error," Dr. Donald Redelmeier of the University of Toronto speculates.

Stressful deadlines and short-term human error? Sounds like Sunday night at college to me...