Death

Death by getting your skull split open with a giant ballpoint pen. The pen is mightier etc. etc.

~OLJ

Error messages are starting to get too disturbing for those with delicate sensibilities. From now on, error messages should come in the form of cat pictures.

It's a good thing nobody over 60 works in an internet company office, because if he were ever late to work, all his office supplies would be claimed in 5 minutes.

~OLJ

Or a shot plot.