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Guy Delivers Dark Poetic Justice to a Spambot Desperately Trying to Strip

He recognized the spambot almost immediately, but didn't stop there. What follows next is some of the most emo poetry you will ever read. It's a shame the spambot only cares about getting naked because this dude would have totally become a tree for his new friend.

"We will grow a forest from our new bodies." "Help me rot into the earth."

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This Friday's Dedicated to Savannah Montano, Who Has An Ass That Looks Like the Bottom Of Heaven

Before the backlash ensues for posting a list of a 'hot chick in a bikini' -- something a surprising number of users here don't seem to be on board with -- can I just invite you to consider the fact that yes, another week is almost in the books (or it already is, if you're lucky); and we should probably celebrate the long-awaited occasion by driving ourselves wild with thirst for a young lady with a bottom seemingly carved by fucking Michelangelo himself, before she fell from heaven. Too far? Oh well. Upvote if you like hot chicks in revealing bikinis. Upvote if you like Fridays. 

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Jimmy Kimmel loves asking people on the street about their sex lives, as we all do. It's just fun to know who's getting laid and stuff because, oh, yeah, sex. 

You're not going to believe this, but on the day after Valentine's Day, well, people like to get, you know, intercoursed. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm talking about s-e-x, the physical act of love, people having it. 

So light some candels, eat an oyster, and pop open that merlot becuase random people on the street are saying whether or not they did "it" last night.

Sex. 


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Mom's Ruthlessly Honest Facebook Post About What Sex Is Like While Pregnant Goes Viral Instantly

Mel Watts who has a pretty kickass personal blog already, which involves a whole lot of her shedding brutally honest light on the ups and downs of pregnant life/motherhood with a whiplike wit and hilarious self-awareness, might've just had her big break with this post. Yep, she went ahead and shot over a couple answers to the kinds of questions a lot of us might wonder at some point in our lives, but would never damn well ask. 

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Ryan Reynolds Has the Greatest Responses to All His Thirsty Fans Who Beg Him for Sex

When you're voted "Sexiest Man Alive" deflecting the thirst from Twitter followers is part of an everyday ritual. Ryan Reynolds, who was the People Magazine's 2010 Sexiest Man Alive, has been getting heat for years.

The difference between Ryan Reynolds and all the other beautiful faces in the world is that Ryan Reynolds is hilarious.

Take a look at his best responses to some of his fan's most brutal sexual request.

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"Mom - please do NOT wake me up for the gym. Ian and I were up past 3 as it was our last night together. In any case, I think I got my days' worth of exercise then. LOL."