poop

Hey you, yeah you, your poops are terrible. 

At least according to the folks behind Squatty Potty. Their latest video explains that your stance on the porcelain throne is causing muscle strain in your b-hole region, making for terrible, difficult poops. But(t) apparently, if you squat on the can, you'll make beautiful rainbow soft serve turds. See?

Seems legit.

All the fun of lighting a bag of dog crap on someone’s front porch without the hassle of running away.

A new service from the high schoolers behind the vulva-shaped lollipops for Trump, Poop for Politicians is exactly what it sounds like. For the low, low price of $9.99 this bi-partisan poop delivery service will mail a package of feces to the politician of your choosing. Same day delivery! Wow!

Speaking to The Daily Dot, Jules and Gabe, the Poop for Politicians founders, explained, “All we're doing is capitalizing on the way people would like to convey a message to the people who play a direct role in their lives, and giving them a medium to do it.”

But isn’t this bad for the environment, you might ask. Well, this service uses 100% organic horse manure from a local farm. So it’s sustainable and eco-friendly. Plus, you can send a big package of shit to Paul Ryan! Whoa! Where do I sign up?

Just go to www.poopforpoliticans.com and send some poop to Washington today!

This whole situation just really stinks.

A New Jersey man is facing charges after wiping a police summons "between his butt cheeks" and throwing it at an officer.

The 45-year-old man is reportedly facing a felony for purposely causing the officer to come in contact with bodily fluids during the incident this summer.

The indictment alleges that the man threw the summons in the direction of the officer after "placing it between his butt cheeks" and "wiping the paper in an upward and downward motion."

Dang, Jersey man. You're giving Florida man a run for his money.