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    Family hears frantic meowing coming from the woods by their house late one night, and finds a small kitten who wastes no time adopting herself in: 'They threw you away like garbage, and I collected you like treasure.'
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    Customer demands a free steak, as it wasn't cooked as he asked, even though he had already eaten it, he gets his way, plus a free dessert and "jokes" it's for the kids in the car: 'A coworker came up to me and said a kid jumped out of their minivan.’
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