james bond
The name's Bond, James Bond. Get the best jokes and puns from your favorite spy, and maybe you'll find yourself your own 00.
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Employee gets punished for being great at his job, so he decides to stop trying at all: 'Even though I performed my duties better than the others in my department, I was effectively punished for being so good.'
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A hardworking man refuses to let his brother live rent-free in his second flat after years of saving to buy it: ‘I can't set myself on fire to keep him warm’
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Friend steps out of cohosting a cookout as she was in charge of all the expenses for people that aren't even her friends: 'I’d rather attend as a regular guest.'
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Mother argues with family members over going to a funeral for a distant family member she doesn't even visit, or her daughter's dance recital: 'I wouldn’t mind attending if it weren’t for my daughter’s recital.'
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Former employee joins rival company and ends up in meeting with old bosses criticizing his work: 'The nervous little laughs were glorious'
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