gun
You better point that gun someplace else. Ahhhh you're just happy to see me no worries. This "pinnacle" of human achievement has defined the modern world ever since it's inception, so if you like you're firearms, lock and load and get ready to have a blast.
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Former employee joins rival company and ends up in meeting with old bosses criticizing his work: 'The nervous little laughs were glorious'
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Grandchild spends months arranging to buy grandmother's garden, cousin suddenly changes his mind and claims it for himself: 'Why hasn't he done anything to acquire it before?'
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Diner leaves a dinner party early because the vegan lasagna didn’t fill him up: ‘There were no noodles, no cheese, and no sauce. It was basically layers of vegetables stacked together’
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Boss fires employee and goes on a 3-week cruise, leaving retirement community with no one to cover weekends: ‘We’re 3 people in my department - my boss, Brian, and me. My boss just fired Brian and left’
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'It would otherwise be empty...' Homeowner discovers neighbor has been parking his SUV on his driveway while he's at work, so he installs a parking bollard and gets called 'passive aggressive'
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