epic

Skip to 1:10 to see the magic happen.

You may not know it yet, but Jake Murray is your hero.

In this glorious '80s-style movie montage, 27-year-old Murray demonstrates his skateboarding skills, dancing skills, climbing skills and jumping skills, all while wearing a pair of fashionable, white skinny jeans.

So how do we make sure this guy gets on the show? Let's make it happen!

From the video description:

We like to have fun at our school. So, after several school closings due to snow and cold, we recorded this call to parents to see if we could make them laugh. I think we succeeded. Boone County Schools in Kentucky is one of the nation's finest. And, our awesome parents deserve this chuckle. By the way, if this video can gain us some exposure, AND you know of someone willing to help us out with some cash for technology, we DESPERATELY need it. Ellen? Rosie? Oprah? Jimmy Kimmel? We love our jobs - I hope you can tell!

Sparky doesn't give a f*ck about you and your lightning bolts Zeus.

Everything about this is epic. This outrageously lucky bison from Neal Smith National Wildlife Refuge in Iowa survived being struck by lightning in 2013.

At this point we're unclear whether or not Sparky's spar with the afterlife bestowed him any supernatural gifts, but seriously, stay tuned.