completely relevant news

Before we dive into the full video of the story: The first person to say "friend zone" in the comments will get permabanned. Just a heads up. Anyway, without further ado:

This eight foot tall LEGO statue washed up on Siesta Key Beach in Floriday. The statue, made of fiberglass, had the words "No Real Than You Are" imprinted on its torso, with the name Ego Leonard and the number 8 on its back.

Theories abound as to what the statue is about, though LEGOLand officials have already confirmed that this isn't an official LEGO product in any way. Ego Leonard's website has the same phrase in its header, and in an e-mail response to the Herald Tribune the LEGO "man" wrote back in the first person, saying "I am glad I crossed over. Although it was a hell of a swimm... Nice weather here and friendly people. I think I am gonna stay here for a while. A local sheriff escorted me to my new home."

The mystery deepens, WINners...

Britney Spears' little sister broke up a fight at a Pita Pit in Hammond, LA last month, and thanks to TMZ, you can now watch the whole thing go down.

Her friend was caught in the middle of the scuffle, so she went behind the counter and grabbed a large knife which she then used to threaten the brawlers until they stopped.

The last time a member of the Spears family frantically waved around a deadly weapon was the Great Bald Britney Paparazzi Umbrella Attack of 2007.

Maybe Jamie Lynn has a future in law enforcement if the singing career doesn't work out?

Remember to turn on closed captions for this one!

Matthew Sitko lost control of his SUV in Lewiston, Idaho and nearly drove over the edge of a cliff before stabilizing precariously on the edge. That's when a passerby managed to pull Sitko out of his vehicle and get him to safety.

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