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This week in Springfield, Illinois the forces of evil have emerged victorious.

Mayor J. Michael Houston has awarded G.I. Joe’s nemesis Cobra Commander the key to the city.

“Springfielders near and far, I accept your Mayor’s generous gift,” he said. “And let it be known that I too bring a gift for every man, woman and child of this city that is so near and dear to my heart; an invitation to join with me. Join Cobra!”

It makes a lot of sense, considering Springfield served as a secret base for the villain and his forces in the cartoon.

The stunt is actually a promotion for the upcoming G.I. Joe convention which will be held in the city, which they describe as the “mythical home of COBRA,” from April l9-12.

So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Here’s a supercut of Cobra Commander shouting at everyone because that’s just what he does and will continue to do in Illinois now that they’ve welcomed him with open arms.

This is Angela Zhang, a Californian student who just won $100,000 in the Siemens Competition in Math, Science & Technology. Her contribution to the competition? Nothing big, just discovering a cell that can fight cancer. Oh sorry, I meant developed that cell. Her work, titled "Design of Image-guided, Photo-thermal Controlled Drug Releasing Multifunctional Nanosystem for the Treatment of Cancer Stem Cells," is a total mouthful, but some are saying it's a real "Swiss army-knife" in the fight against cancer - helping both the treatment of cancer cells and their detection.

Did I mention that she's seventeen years old?

And with that, I'm going to go pretend like I've accomplished something with my life.

Check the via link for more info!

A 17-year-old student in Texas broke the news that his mother had lost her battle with cancer. When he came back to school the next day, the entire high school rallied around him during his time of need. Check out the full story here:

FOX 26 News | MyFoxHouston

Ron Perlman solidifies his position as "Coolest Dude in the Universe" by donning the Hellboy garb one more time while fulfilling 6-year-old Zachary's Make-a-Wish Foundation request. Check out the full story over at The Daily What in the via link below!

TL;DR, A very clever hacker turns Jersey Shore into this:

And here's a video describing his creation process:

That's right, for the purposes of making cheaper school lunches, pizza is now a vegetable in school lunches. Eat up, kids!

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