By Unknown
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His commanding officer told him "Men don't go to baby showers," so he put on his Ron Swanson pants and a compiled a list of the manliest things he could possibly think of.
If that doesn't work, he might be sh*t out of luck.
OP: "Army Specialist was denied leave to go to a baby shower because his CO said "Men don't go to baby showers", so he changed his reason.