america

There's a full length version, if you need a hot new dance track to get through your day:

After 7 seasons, American Ninja Warrior finally has an American winner to claim the million-dollar prize.

The major tenants of his platform? Legalizing marijuna, getting dogs banned from restaurants, keeping people with giant feet from taking up space on the sidewalk, and raising the minimum wage. 

His only major concern seems to be the candidacy of Hillary Clinton ("women love her!"). 

"I am congress, I am president." - Waka Flocka Flame, 2015.

Thanks congress, I don't have to feel bad at all for ordering out tonight!

Mmmm… 'Murica!

Competitive eater Molly Schuyler broke a new record this weekend, eating 3 72-oz steaks in less than 20 minutes.

At this year's 72oz Showdown at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, Schuyler was matched up against four teams of two, and she singlehandedly destroyed her competition while besting herself in the process.

The other teams included professional wrestlers and football players and they each had one hour to throw down as much as they could.

In total, Schuyler, who weighs just 124 pounds, ate 3 steaks, 3 backed potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 side salads and 3 rolls.

Basically, as The Big Texan describes it, she consumed more than 13.5 pounds of food which is "the equivalent of a bowling ball or averaged sized three-month-old baby."