vacuum

From the submitter:

The vacuum cleaner was missing those floor cleaning accessories, so I made my own with isolant tape and a box.

Why not use a hotel door handle?

At least, it used to. Once it carried your germs and hairballs, now it carries your unhealthy lunch and comic books.

~NSHA

The house had free switches just hanging off the walls! ~NSHA

What? You're telling me that there's a way to make Segways useful? NO WAI!

Lost contact lens, wrist watch screw or even a diamond? Don't worry, the vacuum cleaner will help!

Give a man a vacuum, he'll clean for a day. Teach a man to vacuum, and he'll do something stupid like this.

~NSHA

This is the 3rd grossest substance that's ever been inside that sock.

~NSHA

... Okay, you know what? No. I can't. YES PROBLEM. YES, THAT IS A PROBLEM. CUT YOUR STUPID OPTIMISTIC CRAP OUT. RAWR.