Revenge is a dish best served cold, and jealousy is a a dish best served satellite.
"Bought hanging pepper bag, but I didn't have a place to hang it on my balcony, so I lashed a shepherd's crook to my old satellite dish stand with 2 dozen zip strips. It still wasn't sturdy enough, so I jammed a piece of wood in the pipe to lengthen it."
I believe it was the philosopher Young Jeezy who once told us all to stay strapped. Glad to see you're taking his advice!
"...but we wanted it on the roof. This is actually how they "installed" our dish... with MY pumpkins. After being told we wanted out on the roof, he said "you don't want it on your new roof. You can plant a bush there and you'll never see it. Or move that wagon over here...it'll be fine."