ruler

When another inch burns off the ruler, it's ready to go.

~NSHA

I was going to make a joke about this being in a college dorm before I realized the submitter said this is their "college apartment", meaning they're most likely 21 or 22. Aren't you excited for when this generation graduates and begins to run the world?

~NSHA

Funnily enough, Mix 'n Chill is what I usually do at parties. ~Not-So-Handy Andy

I would have "ruled" out that solution a bit earlier.

Except use a knife.