Speak softly and carry a freaking huge Gatling gun attached to a wheel barrow.
Instructables user PDRWLSN created this pocket-sized flame thrower not because it's freaking awesome, but to as a way to start a quick fire when you're camping and only have access to wet wood. The gun uses materials readily available at any hardware store with butane lighter fluid as a fuel source and a BBQ ignition switch as a trigger. Below is a video showing the machine failing to melt snow. If any of you are crazy enough to try this, please, be safe.