chain

...whatever that thing is. Hopefully no one has a screwdriver.

From the submitter:

So I get up today and the kids are up before me watching TV. That's fine, it Sunday, got to sleep in, figured I go check my email and puts around online for a few. Later I go into the living room, to turn the TV so I can start watching Game highlights before the Super Bowl, but can not find the remote. I mean I searched everywhere. The usual places... In the couch cushions, under the couch, behind the couch and behind the TV.... nowhere to be found.

If your theme is "badass," you certainly can't go wrong with chains.

From the submitter:

Cheap landlady wont fix broken stove. Front panel with handle falls off everytime you pull it open, so, I FIXED IT. Doesn't stay open by itself, slams shut without weight of front panel, so you have to stand in the loop to use both hands to remove pans. Zip-ties, old potholder, and a carabiner and dog chain from the bondage drawer. :D

Because car thieves never carry any sort of tools with them. ~Not-So-Handy Andy