alcohol

And whoever told you that is a drunk liar. ~Not-So-Handy Andy

You're clear to land. Wind is 16 ounces... err... 16 degrees to the northeast.

Man, he must be messed up from drinking all that bottled water. College kids these days...

~NSHA

Well, I was going to make a joke about a toaster needing an intervention, but then I read the tequila label and can only think of Olmec from Legends of the Hidden Temple. Man, that was a good show. #revealingmyage ~Not-So-Handy Andy

All of your living room's problems. ~Not-So-Handy Andy

From the submitter

My co-worker and found a bottle of wine in the mini fridge at work, so we decided we would have a feew drink toward the end of the day. We peeled the foil from the top to discover the cork, and quickly realized that we didn't have a corkscrew. We looked around for something we could pull the cork, so we decided to drive a screw into the cork and pull it out. We couldn't get the cork to budge, so we started prying it up with the hammer. This photo shows the total amount of the cork we could p

Oh god! How did it turn out?! The text got cut off. Please, this story must have an ending.