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Wrong But Delightful Alternate Names Kids Have For Stuff

Let's get it out of the way right now, kids are dumb as rocks and weird as heck. But that doesn't mean that they can't make decent or at least amusing contributions to the world of linguistic foibles. It means they're pretty great at saying things wrong all the time. The fact that kids are dumb, strange people means that they're an excellent resource for "the wrong thing to say."

funny words kis have for stuff
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Funny Tweets To Build Character And Cultivate Strength

Can other people's anecdotes and tweets motivate us to become better people? The answer is a resounding "maybe, but probably not." That said, there are many funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later that could definitely make you a hit at a party for about 45 seconds. Sure it's 45 seconds, but what a wonderful 45 seconds. So there's that. And also sick Tweets from the Twitterverse.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter
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Twitter Thread: The Appalachians Are Older Than Most Things

Like this tumblr thread on the age of the Appalachians says, those mountains are older than bones. Not individual bones, but like the advent of bones. Alex Petrovnia gets into the geological wonder of a mountain range that spans continents and eras. It's weird how sometimes the most mundane things can be extremely interesting, like this thread on lobsters orthe electric story on the naming of Triscuits.

Twitter thread about the fossils found in Appalachian mountains, which are older than vertebrate animals
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People's Favorite Bits To Annoy Their Spouse

Just about every relationship is built on a strong foundation of the annoying things people's spouses do. Sometimes that's their inability to wrap extension cords correctly, and other times it's their insistence on introducing their current wife as "my ex girlfriend." We all have our jokes. Is love just the capacity to tolerate your partner's stupid bits? Seems like that's part of it.

funny stupid jokes people do to annoy their partner
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Tumblr Gems And Sweet Tweets To Battle Boredom

The internet can bring many things. Some of those things are cold facts and bad news. But the rest is a pile of weird observations, dumb stories, tumblr gems and funny tweets. Do we need a worldwide network of people sharing their intimate moments and weird nuggets of knowledge? Probably not but it's here now in the form of tumblr gems and tweets and boy is it going strong.

funny tweets and gems from tumblr
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Exciting New Sentences That Went Long Unuttered

Human beings are nothing if not creative, and we have an eye for the particular. Thanks to the fluid, ever-evolving nature of language, and the systems of meaning pre-built into context, our brains are able to word better than words can even word themselves. And because of that, sometimes a patch of words hits you in just the right way, like a spicy rare insult  or a funny tweet or tumblr gem where you go "alright I bet no one ever said that before."

funny new and extremely specific sentences
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Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Cackle At

In the marketplace of ideas, nothing moves quite like the devilishly tasty goods of tumblr gems and funny tweets to haughtily guffaw at. Are these observations, stories and weird instances in any way insightful? Who knows. But damn if they're not compelling. Funny tweets and tumblr gems provide that strength against boredom that we all need.

funny jokes from twitter and tumblr
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems for Strength Against Boredom

A nice juicy funny tweet or tumblr gem is something you can quote later to your friends. The internet is a nexus of extremely specific and stupid ideas that get stuck into people's mind-brains and get bounced around like marbles in a paint-shaker, so it's only natural that there are optimal funny tweets to remember later and chuckle quietly.

funny tweets and moments from tumblr
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Funny Tweets To Remember Later and Chuckle Quietly

Is there a word for "observation that seems poignant in the moment and then sort of gets instantly muddled into the background noise of your head, only to pop up at the most inappropriate moment?" If not, that's kind of what tweets are. That's not a bad thing, they're fun. Balls of wit make up some of the great funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later.

funny tweets and random thoughts and observations | Rads @FeelingEuphoric THERAPIST: listen really need relax banging fists on table BUT CAN BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR | Dan Sheehan ltsDanSheehan Being grandpa must be tough, some baby mispronounces word and suddenly name is Peepo last 30 years life
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Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Haughtily Guffaw At

Twitter and Tumblr are dripping with observations both creepily insightful and brain-chillingly stupid. Anything goes when you plug your brain into the internet and let the words fall wherever they land. It leads to some funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later in a conversation with your "peers."

funny tweets and jokes from tumblr and twitter | utopians Follow Throwback 2016 told my sister "they're making another planet earth" and she just like. raised an eyebrow and said this absolutely deadpan condescending tone "and where are they getting dirt and had specify meant planet earth nature documentary not celestial body
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems To Quote Later

Here are some thoughts to read, internalize, forget where they came from, then quote to your friends as if you made them up and are "so totally random." You know, basic friendly conversation. For that matter, here are some more funny, random and shiny tumblr gems as well as some totally random funny tweets.

funny tweets and tumblr jokes | Cemeterry F @daemonic3 So date talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much wasn't good idea Yeah well, hindsight is 1 | nerdgul average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces pineapple chunks. Cans pineapple come variety sizes most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning single pineapple generally won't fill up single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple can somewhere someone else has can has rest same pineapple.
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Funny Tweets about God Making Animals

The features and behaviors of different animals are so varied and weird and specific that it makes you wonder what kind of thinking would have went into them. A lot of these tweets about animal designs feel like a real "5 pm on a friday" kind of job. People put a lot of thought into how god would've made plants and animals.

Funny joke tweets about how god designed animals | tweet by tricycle_champ [god making bats] GOD: just like hairy black potato with wings ANGEL: um GOD: ANGEL: god? GOD: also sleeps upside down like an idiot
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A Bushel of Funny Tweets to Savor

When it's not actively imploding all over itself, Twitter births some wildly creative, extremely dumb, and supremely clever jokes. Sometimes you need ridiculous musings in the form of tweets to give that day a boost. Are they often stupid? Yeah. Are they basically funny? Definitely. Heap some funny tweets onto that day.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter | Paul @bingowings 14 Fingers crossed 's hummus Hidden dip road sign
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Funny Tweets to Give that Day a Boost

Twitter can be a war zone of horrible takes and unsubstantiated arguments about things no one really cares about, but it's also cut with sweet, delectable jokes. For more odds and ends, here are some more funny tweets that hit the spot and some random funny Tumblr nuggets.

Funny twitter jokes | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks
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Funny Tweets That Hit The Spot

Every now and again Twitter is a place where actual funny observations and fails are shared, and it's not just a continuous stream of news headlines. In this case we have a fresh batch of Twitter funnies that we certainly got a kick out of. What's better than laughing at some of the best (or worst, depending on your look at it) the internet and social media has to offer by way of ridiculing people who really should choose their words more carefully... If you want even more funny tweets, then look no further.

A collection of funny tweets that kept us entertained | AJ Mendez Brooks Follow @AJBrooks Just bumped into mannequin said "sorry Then said "Oh thought were person Then realized still talking mannequin. 12:44 AM 24 Jan 2013 6 17 1,556 v 1,388
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Twitter Shares The Things You Don't Tell Your Spouse

Part of being in a long term relationship is knowing that there are some things that are better left unsaid. Married Life has a lot of ups and downs that inspire tweets and jokes, and heeding people's advice can prevent a future headache. So like, tell them everything they need to know of course, but don't get too creative with it.

Twitter users tell the secrets they don't tell their spouses about | Dawn Follow @thoughtfloss Which piece chicken fell on floor ThingsYouDont TellYourSpouse
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