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Exciting New Sentences That Went Long Unuttered

Human beings are nothing if not creative, and we have an eye for the particular. Thanks to the fluid, ever-evolving nature of language, and the systems of meaning pre-built into context, our brains are able to word better than words can even word themselves. And because of that, sometimes a patch of words hits you in just the right way, like a spicy rare insult  or a funny tweet or tumblr gem where you go "alright I bet no one ever said that before."

funny new and extremely specific sentences
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Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Cackle At

In the marketplace of ideas, nothing moves quite like the devilishly tasty goods of tumblr gems and funny tweets to haughtily guffaw at. Are these observations, stories and weird instances in any way insightful? Who knows. But damn if they're not compelling. Funny tweets and tumblr gems provide that strength against boredom that we all need.

funny jokes from twitter and tumblr
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems for Strength Against Boredom

A nice juicy funny tweet or tumblr gem is something you can quote later to your friends. The internet is a nexus of extremely specific and stupid ideas that get stuck into people's mind-brains and get bounced around like marbles in a paint-shaker, so it's only natural that there are optimal funny tweets to remember later and chuckle quietly.

funny tweets and moments from tumblr
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Funny Tweets To Remember Later and Chuckle Quietly

Is there a word for "observation that seems poignant in the moment and then sort of gets instantly muddled into the background noise of your head, only to pop up at the most inappropriate moment?" If not, that's kind of what tweets are. That's not a bad thing, they're fun. Balls of wit make up some of the great funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later.

funny tweets and random thoughts and observations | Rads @FeelingEuphoric THERAPIST: listen really need relax banging fists on table BUT CAN BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR | Dan Sheehan ltsDanSheehan Being grandpa must be tough, some baby mispronounces word and suddenly name is Peepo last 30 years life
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Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Haughtily Guffaw At

Twitter and Tumblr are dripping with observations both creepily insightful and brain-chillingly stupid. Anything goes when you plug your brain into the internet and let the words fall wherever they land. It leads to some funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later in a conversation with your "peers."

funny tweets and jokes from tumblr and twitter | utopians Follow Throwback 2016 told my sister "they're making another planet earth" and she just like. raised an eyebrow and said this absolutely deadpan condescending tone "and where are they getting dirt and had specify meant planet earth nature documentary not celestial body
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems To Quote Later

Here are some thoughts to read, internalize, forget where they came from, then quote to your friends as if you made them up and are "so totally random." You know, basic friendly conversation. For that matter, here are some more funny, random and shiny tumblr gems as well as some totally random funny tweets.

funny tweets and tumblr jokes | Cemeterry F @daemonic3 So date talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much wasn't good idea Yeah well, hindsight is 1 | nerdgul average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces pineapple chunks. Cans pineapple come variety sizes most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning single pineapple generally won't fill up single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple can somewhere someone else has can has rest same pineapple.
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Funny Tweets about God Making Animals

The features and behaviors of different animals are so varied and weird and specific that it makes you wonder what kind of thinking would have went into them. A lot of these tweets about animal designs feel like a real "5 pm on a friday" kind of job. People put a lot of thought into how god would've made plants and animals.

Funny joke tweets about how god designed animals | tweet by tricycle_champ [god making bats] GOD: just like hairy black potato with wings ANGEL: um GOD: ANGEL: god? GOD: also sleeps upside down like an idiot
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A Bushel of Funny Tweets to Savor

When it's not actively imploding all over itself, Twitter births some wildly creative, extremely dumb, and supremely clever jokes. Sometimes you need ridiculous musings in the form of tweets to give that day a boost. Are they often stupid? Yeah. Are they basically funny? Definitely. Heap some funny tweets onto that day.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter | Paul @bingowings 14 Fingers crossed 's hummus Hidden dip road sign
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Funny Tweets to Give that Day a Boost

Twitter can be a war zone of horrible takes and unsubstantiated arguments about things no one really cares about, but it's also cut with sweet, delectable jokes. For more odds and ends, here are some more funny tweets that hit the spot and some random funny Tumblr nuggets.

Funny twitter jokes | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks
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Funny Tweets That Hit The Spot

Every now and again Twitter is a place where actual funny observations and fails are shared, and it's not just a continuous stream of news headlines. In this case we have a fresh batch of Twitter funnies that we certainly got a kick out of. What's better than laughing at some of the best (or worst, depending on your look at it) the internet and social media has to offer by way of ridiculing people who really should choose their words more carefully... If you want even more funny tweets, then look no further.

A collection of funny tweets that kept us entertained | AJ Mendez Brooks Follow @AJBrooks Just bumped into mannequin said "sorry Then said "Oh thought were person Then realized still talking mannequin. 12:44 AM 24 Jan 2013 6 17 1,556 v 1,388
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Twitter Shares The Things You Don't Tell Your Spouse

Part of being in a long term relationship is knowing that there are some things that are better left unsaid. Married Life has a lot of ups and downs that inspire tweets and jokes, and heeding people's advice can prevent a future headache. So like, tell them everything they need to know of course, but don't get too creative with it.

Twitter users tell the secrets they don't tell their spouses about | Dawn Follow @thoughtfloss Which piece chicken fell on floor ThingsYouDont TellYourSpouse
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Memes about The Brutal Reality of Not Being 20 Anymore

Results of aging may vary, but take it from these people that hangovers are worse and dating can become a struggle. Oh, and protect your back. Here are some dad memes to keep dads going through these dark times.

Memes about the realities of aging | man screaming while a hurricane sandstorm approaches behind him | 40s People born 80s 's coming meme-generator.com
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Tweets and Memes from the Quarantine

As the reality of COVID-19 spreads and the ever widening spheres of stay-at-home edicts change a veritable butt-load of people's lives, we're left with millions of people's thoughts about it, daily. Some people are wrestling with their newfound loneliness while others are preparing to make a whole lot of pasta. Here are some more coronavirus tweets from self-quarantine.

Tweets and memes about people's self quarantine | Well, old girl about have busiest month life INSTANT POT cooking utensils | Ryan Brooks @ryanbrooks bar my neighborhood is delivering entire liters their premixed margaritas 25 and get complimentary roll toilet paper with purchase and 's really starting feel like there are no rules anymore
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Coronavirus Tweets From The Self-Quarantine

Here are a collection of humorous tweets about the ongoing pandemic. While people are still urged to stay inside and limit social contact, it's starting to take a toll on people's attitudes. There are more cases, and predictably, a whole lot of coronavirus tweets and memes. Here's a woman's experience who tested positive for the disease.

Tweets and jokes about coronavirus and quarantine | milO @amelianashh been waiting perfect time change my Netflix password so my ex can't use anymore and doesn't really get much better than national lockdown 703K 4:37 PM Mar 16, 2020 60.9K people are talking about this
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Coronavirus Tweets and Memes to Hoard like Toilet Paper

With stress rising and policies changing quickly over COVID-19, people are letting their fears out online in the form of comedy. In the wake of panic buying and quarantines, some people are getting petty revenge on toilet paper hoarding Karens while others are writing humorous Coronavirus Journal entries from self quarantine.

Tweets and funny memes about self quarantine, panic buying and coronavirus | birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights WASH FREQUENT. MANTAIN SOCIAL DISTANCE. bird in a birdbath and two birds fighting | People with unwiped butts Peoplewho boughtall toilet paper.
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