topless

Cast this man in the remake, stat.

And while we're at it, let's also revoke the "pieces of flair" policy for Hot Topic retailers.

Seriously. It makes your hair stick out, and every time the cat tries to sit on your lap it gets electrocuted by static from the nipple ring.

Unless, of course, the music is MSTRKRFT and the drink is a Jägerbomb. Then you've pretty much got no choice but to stay awake.

He's probably disapproving of the body paint. Yeah, that's probably it.

With sucking action.