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Twitter Thread: The Appalachians Are Older Than Most Things

Like this tumblr thread on the age of the Appalachians says, those mountains are older than bones. Not individual bones, but like the advent of bones. Alex Petrovnia gets into the geological wonder of a mountain range that spans continents and eras. It's weird how sometimes the most mundane things can be extremely interesting, like this thread on lobsters orthe electric story on the naming of Triscuits.

Twitter thread about the fossils found in Appalachian mountains, which are older than vertebrate animals
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Twitter Thread: The Messy History Of Using The Bathroom In Space

Mary Robinette Kowal gets into the nitty gritty of space defecation and how "there's no good way for women to pee in space" was never a completely satisfactory answer for a lack of women in space, at least from the engineering side of things. Turns out, the ideas we had for going to the bathroom in space in general were... lackluster. To rely on the old saying, why is it we could put a man on the moon but we couldn't come up with a half decent way to get people a bathroom in space without having to sit in it?

twitter thread on using bathroom in space
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Twitter User Demands Drawings of Bepantsed Vulture, Gets Them

There is actually a legitimate medical reason for giving the vulture its pants, but that is buried under the undeniable spectacle of a bird wearing pants. The concept was all-consuming enough for Chappell Ellison to demand artists renderings of the panted vulture, and what came of it was, well, more vultures in pants. Nice. It's reminiscent of the time people were asked to share their art and draw a duck.

twitter thread of people drawing vulture in pants.
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Tumblr Thread: The Addams Family Meets Matilda

It's hard to think of two characters Tumblr would have more of an affinity for than Roald Dahl's Matilda and Wednesday Addams. Tumblr has made its love of the Addams' pretty clear in the past based on this tumblr thread about the Addams family renting out rooms to college students. It should be obvious by now that Tumblr will never leave its favorite things un-fan-fictioned, whether that's a good or bad thing.

Tumblr fan fiction thread of Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family meeting Roald Dahl's Matilda.
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Twitter Thread: How Rattata Could Theoretically Beat Goku

Yeah, this is basically stupid, but hey, it's important to never apologize for the dumb stuff you're into. Everyone has their stupid. For the ones who played the Pokémon games while watching old episodes of Dragon Ball Z, this means something, alright? We all know that Pokémon's probability system is madness, but assuming Goku isn't holding a quick claw or something that lets him sneak in a senzu bean, this looks like it holds up.


Hold on, does quick claw provide enough of a stat buff to override the priority of quick attack? Whatever.

But hold on, would Goku's instant transmission be fast enough to end the fight before it even began?

Either way, there's no argument that Rattata could beat Yamcha with no strategy.

Twitter thread how the Pokemon rattata could beat Goku from Dragon Ball Z
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Twitter Thread: What Every State Is Famous For, According to a Brit

It can be a real wakeup call to hear what a total stranger thinks of the place you and your family have lived their whole lives. For all you know, every person you live with, work with, know and love could be summed up in someone's brain as "the place with all the corn." Depending on where you live, your culture might measure space and time differently than someone else. Here are some non-americans' biggest culture shocks they felt when visiting.

Twitter thread about what every state is famous for according to a British person
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Tumblr Thread: A Wife's Diabolical Seam Revenge

We're no strangers to the pettiest revenges of the most petty people, but this is so specific and weird that it's just kind of awesome. If anyone thought that sewing didn't have the potential to be a merchant of chaos, then they didn't know things like how Tumblr's yarn community has serious drama.

Funny Tumblr story of angry wife who took out seams in husband's clothes
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Tumblr Thread: A Vulcan Gets a Cat

Seeing our own actions through the eyes of a more coldly logical being lets us poke fun at the absurdity of our own lives. Plus it doesn't hurt that Vulcans are a fun concept to play around with anyway, as evidenced by this tumblr thread of a human on a Vulcan ship. Pet ownership is weird, and our relationship with cats in particular is fraught with unique and strange meaning. Especially when you get into specifics like this tumblr thread on how cats are just eloquent enough to be melodramatic.

funny tumblr thread where a Vulcan gets a cat
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Twitter Thread: Teacher Grades Class's Joke Skills

George Pointon took to twitter to matter-of-factly address the comedic skills of his young class. He ascertained that some overly relied on dirty stuff, some couldn't read the room and others had great timing. Kids don't make the greatest comics, but they also don't make great much anything else, as evidenced by this proof that kids are weird and dumb.

twitter thread: Teacher grades class jokes
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Twitter Thread: A Huge Ship Is Blocking The Suez Canal

John Scott-Railton regales the specifics of what is becoming a demonstrably huge screw up in one of the most used thoroughfares in global trade. The massive ship is just kind of sitting there as other vessels form a traffic jam behind it. Some say it's being partially refloated, but it's proving to be a pretty big problem that's just sort of sitting there.

Big ship blocks Suez canal twitter thread.
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Tumblr Thread: Cats Are Just Eloquent Enough To Be Melodramatic

It's long been an observation of tumblr users that cats are overdramatic food-craving sociopaths who speak like disparaged Victorian children. That's just half of it though. They're also irrational and will fight you for a chance to climb into the oven. Here's a cat who loves being in the fridge. They're complex creatures.

funny tumblr thread about cats being dramatic
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Twitter Thread: Neighbor Creates Mind-Blowingly Wholesome Fairy Experience

@SaystheFox found some hard times and put that energy into making some magic happen for a kid in their neighborhood. It's probably some of the more wholesome stuff we've seen. Also, points for getting the parents in on it because without that this whole thing would probably be the creepiest thing we've ever experienced. For more wholesomeness, here's some wholesome memes to keep the feels intact and a quick tumblr post on kids language struggles.

Wholesome fairy twitter thread | kelly victoria @saysthefox think everyone could use lighthearted/happy story right now so here goes: At beginning pandemic went through some painful personal stuff and would often go out at night long walks because no one around and couldn't sleep anyway. One night walking down my street and noticed someone had set up few little objects tree planter and upon closer inspection realized fairy garden with little note about 4 year old girl who felt lonely quarantine
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Twitter Scientist Air Fries a Hotdog For Two Hours

Ask around, visit a friend's house, and it seems like everyone has an air fryer all of a sudden. They seem pretty cool, but such new technology has yet to be experimented upon by the home scientists among us. @KLobstar went ahead and did some cutting edge science, seeing what would happen if you left this newfangled device to operate on a hot dog for 120 minutes. For some more loose handling of the science, Here's a handy tumblr list of the lickable sciences.

funny twitter thread of guy air frying a hot dog for two hours pretending it's science | kendrick lobstar @KLobstar 50 minutes has elapsed, 70 minutes remain. My wife and son have gone outside and have opened kitchen window | kendrick lobstar @KLobstar 60 minutes has elapsed, 60 minutes remain have been advised by fellow scientists allow hotdog and air fryer cool off before continuing air is thick with hotdog flavor.
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Tumblr Thread: Three Repetitive Types of Female Characters

Tumblr is generally the place where people get exhaustive about the annoying types of characters they see over and over again in books, tv and movies. Movies are a business and we tend to not question repetition, like these very limited types of movie posters. For some, these characters are so unrealistic that it takes away from the story. It's a bit like this Twitter thread making fun of how male authors describe women.

Tumblr users shows three types of annoying unrealistic female characters | Nerdy Male Director She had many masculine traits, like eating 10 hamburgers at once and wrestling Russian mercenaries while never going over 112 pounds. She learned these skills her many fathers and brothers, never male partner or friend, as may suggest she has some autonomous sexual history. No, men were all too afraid her, except who has mistaken my fem-dom fetish respect. If met her real like l'd hate her rejecting
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Twitter User Explains Their Most Hated ADHD Symptom

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a symptom of ADHD that can make it way too easy to second guess one's self in social situations and in essence, take the fun out of everything. It's a pretty relatable feeling for anyone who's ever felt out of place or anxious in social settings. For more stuff like this, here's a twitter thread on living with ADHD.

Twitter Thread on ADHD symptom rejection sensitive dysphoria | paintedbees There are lot symptoms ADHD are just awful live with, but one takes cake by far is rejection sensitivity dysphoria. This fucker, THIS FUCKER will fly ona broom and shit all over good day ll take thing love and make loath | out enjoying an activity with friends, something been looking forward something excited and passionate about. And then--someone might say or do something innocuous like ok ok, calm down
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Twitter Thread: The Cold-Blooded Office Shrimp Thief

We like to think our lives are boring and pointless, but sometimes there's office shrimp drama. This underhanded coworker struck a defenseless order of shrimp fried rice and lied through her teeth about it in a way that only a born psychopath could. For more office drama, here's a Karen who threw away an expensive cake before the office fought back.

Funny twitter thread about work shrimp thief | Zak Toscani @zaktoscani Replying zaktoscani Case facts: Lunch fridge less than an hour before vanished. No shrimp smell remnants microwave or kitchen area. This professional hit no doubt 8:24 PM Mar 29, 2018 50.1K Q 3,471 people are talking about this
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