Right around the 1:00 mark....Ted Cruz quite literally defies the natural laws of physics. His body does the OPPOSITE of what's supposed to happen when taking a sizable running start, and jumping off a trampoline. I have questions, Ted Cruz.
ted cruz
As you might well know, Ted Cruz has long since been at the end of a running joke about him being the Zodiac Killer. Dark-humored, for sure; hilarious, most definitely. And now, as fate would have it, a year later Ted Cruz bestowed us all with the unexpected gift of acknowledging the absurdity on Twitter. Granted, this might be pawned off as some sort of botched social media move by a Cruz intern, like when he went and 'liked' the NSFW tweet (see here); but either way, we'll take it.
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Eagerly waiting for Ted Cruz to break the silence on this gem. Pretty unreal that we're talking about Cruz, the guy who at one point argued for the government to possess police powers for the overriding purpose of dissuading "prurient interests in sexual gratification."
The court rules in favor of love. Now, you two kiss.
Yesterday was Neil Gorush's Supreme Court nomination hearing, and boy, was it exciting. It's not every day you see a Supreme Court nominee vying for a stolen seat.
But aside from the insane-o politics of the Supreme Court right now, Ted Cruz was looking like he was having a good time yesterday. Who wouldn't be having a good time when your boss once said that your dad might've been involved with the Kennedy assassination.
All of those feelings bubbled to the surface when Cruz took one look at Merrick Garland, the man who would make corporations can be treated as people in the eyes of the court, especially if a company has a religious belief and a company wants to go to heaven one day.
Tell you about who was in heaven already: Ted Cruz. Look at this guy:
Is this a confirmation hearing or a date? Ted Cruz is looking at Neil Gorsuch like he hung the moon and the stars. pic.twitter.com/VGo8Ztq65i
— Kris (@kris298) March 21, 2017
Via Abraham
If you're like me, there's nothing you like in the world more than someone shouting "shame" at a politician. Man, it's great. When you watch these guys who continuously lie and take adavantage of the peopl their supposed to be representing, just getting destroyed by their bosses.
Well, thankfully, the Washington Post, who recently changed their Masthead to read "Democracy Dies in Darkness," has released a new way of watching my favorite thing.
The Yell-O-Matic let's you pick a politican, and then you can watch a bunch of constituents yelling at them. It's great. Here are some good ones:
Mitch McConnell
McConnell (Bonus)
Hello town halls, my old friend. pic.twitter.com/KvekI2cWZL
— Independent Journal (@TheIJR) February 22, 2017
Rep. Dave Brat
Sen. Ted Cruz
Rep. Nancy Pelosi
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Ted Cruz, do you even meme bro? Yes, yes apparently he does. And I'll be damned if he didn't address some sass from a potentially canned Deadspin Social Media chump, with steely, ice cold savagery. Big ups Cruz. Not your biggest fan, to put it lightly, but big ups my dude.
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You might recognize Craig Mazin from his screenplays. He was the writer of the Hangover sequels and the Melissa McCarthy movie Identity Thief. He's also quickly becoming known as Ted Cruz's freshman roommate from college. Mazin isn't the only person who hates Ted Cruz, there's an entire internet meme accusing Cruz of being the Zodiac killer. But one thing is certain, Craig Mazin hates him the most.
