sword

He manages to not say a single negative thing, while analyzing some ridiculously impossible moves. That's true honor. 

Is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 

This 80-year-old woman probably wouldn't be able to answer because she accidentally tried to carry a sword onto an airplane. She didn't realize that her innocent looking cane was actually a secret sword sheath. What's the point of even having a cane sword if you're not gonna use it. 

Imagine having the coolest kind of sword (one that looks like a cane) and not even knowing it. What a waste. But apparently, this is a pretty common thing, according to TSA. 

“She had no clue it was in there,” said Mark Howell, TSA regional spokesman. "“It happens a lot, actually. People pick them up at a thrift store and the sword isn’t found until we X-ray it.”

"You call that a knife? THIS is a knife...ohhh, down I go." pic.twitter.com/me1upHC3gR

— SimpsonsQOTD (@SimpsonsQOTD) February 12, 2017

Look, it's our job at Fail Blog to make sure that you are one step ahead of all conversations. So when people are like "Hey, did you see La La Land?" You can replay, "No, but did you see this YouTube video of a GoPro on a sword?"

Now you can be that person. Thanks to YouTubers Sam and Niko, you can see what it's like to see a sword cutting through the wind and then through a watermelon. That's what life is all about, right? Right. 

via The Last Witch Hunter

H/T Sploid

It takes years of training to become a ninja, so don’t go stealing swords on your first day.

At least, “still in training” better be the excuse of this ninja, who broke into a comic book store in Anchorage, Alaska and stole a katana sword on Friday. In a move that would get any warrior removed from their dojo, or at the very least, reprimanded by their sansei, this ninja was caught on camera. It doesn’t even look like they're trying to evade the its lens.

There are just so many things wrong with this scenario. First, like, if you’re dressing up as a ninja, and you’re not going to find any cover, then, jeez, I don’t know, go back to training. Second, what is this ninja doing getting their steel from a comic book store? That thing better have been stolen from this ninja and they are merely retrieving it. Third, bring a smoke bomb, dude.

What is this world coming to? A ninja should be as elusive as a shadow, and this one came in like bull in a china shop. Nothing else was stolen, but if the ninja’s in Anchorage are this bad, law enforcement really needs to step it up, unless you want your town overrun by low-rent ninjas.

Maybe that security camera was just really fast? No, that’s stupid. Get it together, ninja. Don’t be seen.

Maybe just in time for those people out there convinced that they need to go smash up all of Donald Trump's horcruxes...

Maybe the kid was running Flan's Mod?

All a Virginia Beach mother wanted to do was order a foam Minecraft sword for her son's eighth birthday from Toys R Us. Well, apparently, someone in that supply line had a sh*tload of ammunition they wanted to get rid of.

Because when the online shopper opened the UPS delivered package Sept. 30, that's what she found.

Local channel 13 News Now has the story:

Jasemin Stephenson says she ordered a "Minecraft Foam Diamond Sword" from the toy store's website last week.

When the package arrived Tuesday, Stephenson says she found 800 rounds of 9mm ammunition in the box, along with the sword.

13News Now has reached out to Toys "R" US and is still waiting to hear back.

Crazy, right?

Here's the video from 13 News Now.

The casting for the second 300 movie is horrible.

Pick one up here!