swimming

Back when a kid could just walk around the woods alone all day. Back when you could give a baby a beer and a bottle rocket. Back when a child's car seat was pretty much just a mobile iron murder cage. Has parenting gotten safer and more responsible or just less fun? Little of column A, little of column B.

This is a bit of a waking nightmare. You ever get those earbuds lodged firmly in the back of your ear, and experience the moment of panic when you're not sure if you'll be able to remove them? NO.FUN. To make matters even worse, this swimmer found themselves staring at the terrified face of a puzzled doctor, when they went in to see what's what. 

As you get older, it becomes more and more clear that your parents didn't really know what they were doing. Some lies were rooted in real concerns our parents had for us. Some were just hearsay. And in some cases, they were just trying to make fun of us. Thank God we have Google to undo what our parents did to us. Anyway if these made you have flashbacks, here's some more lies parents told their kids.

Years after this ex-competitive swimmer enduring the excruciating trials of a vaccine that "in many ways destroyed their life", they've spoken out on Twitter, to argue for vaccines. NOT the twist you'd expect amidst the swarms of anti-vaxxer threads we see storm social media, so regularly. But in this case, we have something refreshingly different. It's powerful and full of pain, and maybe moving enough to encourage anti-vaxxers to assess their stance with a newfound critical gaze. 

It's not even the free-ness that makes this infuriating. There is certainly a lot to unpack here. From the incredible entitlement to the rampant pushiness, this mom is a lot to handle.

Somebody stop these animals!

We're deep in the dog days of summer, people. Long and hot afternoons under the unforgiving sun, inevitably gave way to longer outings at the nearest public pool. You're coming up on an alarmingly extended series of continuous days spent dousing your body in that good 'ol chlorine. Those public pools though, they're tired too. Those pools have been overran by sunscreen-armored riotous packs of sugarhigh kids who are prone to uncontrollable fits of pissing when they've gotta go. Yes, those poor pools have seen better days. These tweets capture those perilous signs of a public pool gone awry that you should make every effort to avoid. And let me just be the first to say that since day fucking ONE, I've avoided those floating skin tags like the bubonic plague.