Sometimes you just absolutely love breaking apart staples...to the point that it convinces your alarmed family around you that there could be something darker, more ominous, and potentially drug-infused afoot.
His excuse? "The lord made me do it".
Use extra strong staples!
I know what you're thinking... did he use 47 staples or 46?
After being called out in public I highly doubt the thief is going to return the stapler.
