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Steak-Umm shares a Twitter thread about Valentine's Day that reads like a fever dream | tweet by Steak Steak-umm -umm @steak_umm picture this on first date. they ask if like twitter face immediately lights up. they smile and ask favorite account is. without hesitation word "steak-umm" leaves lips. steak-umm? they ask, confused reach water but 's empty

Twitter Thread: Steak-Umm's Valentine's Date Fever Dream

Woman's cat accidentally eats weed cookie, and the Twitter thread that follows | My horrible gremlin kitten snarfed an entire weed cookie and got violently high other day thread. Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi 14h Replying Carmine_Deville Firstly wanna preface this by saying she's fine, because this cat is an indestructible Dumpster Demon TM with stomach steel. Her father raccoon and her mother ate and shat nails. She'd fight god half stale bagel and win. 1 Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi

Twitter Thread: Gremlin Kitten Snarfs Weed Cookie

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Guy's internal monologue discovery ends up ruining his day | tweet by Kyle KylePlantEmoji Fun fact: some people have an internal narrative and some don't As some people's thoughts are like sentences they "hear and some people just have abstract non-verbal thoughts, and have consciously verbalize them And most people aren't aware other type person. lay bed and think don't hear voice? Like, can say complete sentence brain and hear Delivered no just see words. think, can hear voice head? Like, can

Guy's Internal Monologue Discovery Ruins His Day

Ricky Gervais trolls the Oscars for its narcissism on Twitter by recommending his show | Ricky Gervais @rickygervais America! Binge-watch #AfterLife on @Netflix tonight s about man who realises humanity is disgusting, narcissistic plague, and so becomes angry depressed and loses will live. Or watch Oscars instead and actually experience those feelings first hand.

Ricky Gervais Selflessly Trolls Oscars Over Narcissism

Corporate catchphrases get translated by people on Twitter | tweet by Briana McDougall @briana9 Replying delia_p Maybe not insufferable but absolutely love per my last email is code do even know f'ing read?

Actual Meanings Of Corporate Catchphrases

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German guy tries to name all 50 states and hilarity ensues | Factoid Dollar Bin Diver team TBD @factoid_twitch Replying TSchmidtbsuer Everything is Biggerer Texas Two. washington? This also feds North Texas ohio Oreo wish? this wisconsin Dakota? Minnesota Wyoming Square Arizona Kansas? this is rave New Jersey, New Mexico AND new York cereal def ohio Nevada Kansas! west. this just Screams OHIO Alabama Mountain mama Virgin AAAAA take home OHIO where is Kansas? wist

German Guy Attempts Naming All 50 States, Hilarity Ensues

Tweets from people talking about their favorite random facts | tweet by CK @la_natif Replying MsPackyetti Phenomena Doorway Effect forget reason enter different room retrieve reason, walk backwards w/o turning around can trigger memory.

Most Random "Facts" People Know (20 Tweets)

Kim Kardashian posts pictures of her creepy house and gets roasted on Twitter | white house with no furniture and weird architecture tweet by zack @daly_zack Replying KimKardashian pls put some things ur house freaks out

Kim Kardashian Posts Pics Of House, Gets Roasted

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Twitter users describe movies badly | tweet by Ryan Bartholomee @RyanBartholomee Replying jimmyfallon Snakes on Plane documentary about why emotional support snakes are bad idea #DescribeAMovieBadly

People Describe Movies Badly (30 Tweets)

Twitter users share things that they learned in their 20s | tweet by Michael m @quickbear Don't blindly trust doctors. Do own research, advocate yourself My20sTaughtMe

Lessons People Learned In Their 20s

video of a waitress standing by a seated couple in a restaurant

Waitress Tells Police To Let Customer Finish Eating

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Twitter users share strange reasons that people can call out of work sick | Michael @Sckswithsandals My eyes hurt can't see myself coming today StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

Strange And Elaborative Reasons To Call Out Sick

A collection of tweets from people sharing their most helpful lessons from therapy | tweet by Ttown316 Replying CarolineMoss are not responsible version they created their mind.

People's Favorite Lessons From Therapy (36 Tweets)

Native American Journalist Explains Impact Of KC Chiefs On Stereotypes

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Twitter users bond over how long January felt | tweet by hasanabi @hasanthehun month january is like 12 decembers long

Twitter Bonds Over January Being Too Long

Tumblr thread calls out how men are objectified too | cruxofargon know people are gonna get salty af about this but by God she's RIGHT Brad Pitt did Fight Club, he cutting weight every single scene maintain his physique at 155 ever cut weight know horrible must have been. He did because they needed look Changing Tatum said his Magic Mike

Tumblr Thread On Men Being Objectified

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Parents and 20-year-old brother insist that 18-year-old university student give $2700 of her own savings for her school to her brother to pay for his rent debt: ‘He owes $2,700 in rent and my mom expects me to cover it’

Parents and 20-year-old brother insist that 18-year-old university student give $2700 of her own savings for her school to her brother to pay for his rent debt: ‘He owes $2,700 in rent and my mom expects me to cover it’

Restaurant hostess judges couple on their appearance and misses out on $60 tip: 'My favorite petty revenges are when I get to rub someone's face in their own bad behavior.'

Restaurant hostess judges couple on their appearance and misses out on $60 tip: 'My favorite petty revenges are when I get to rub someone's face in their own bad behavior.'

Neighbor takes resident's parking spot and tells her to park somewhere else instead, he gets towed: 'He came banging on my door yelling about how I am heartless for not just parking somewhere else'

Neighbor takes resident's parking spot and tells her to park somewhere else instead, he gets towed: 'He came banging on my door yelling about how I am heartless for not just parking somewhere else'

'Petty? Maybe. Deserved? 100%': Credit-hogging coworker gets what she deserves when a hardworking colleague deliberately sabotages a presentation for the executives

'Petty? Maybe. Deserved? 100%': Credit-hogging coworker gets what she deserves when a hardworking colleague deliberately sabotages a presentation for the executives

'He fumbles, repeats himself, and starts sweating’: CEO steals sole credit for his employee's work, then he gets burned in an international meeting when she refuses to help him answer questions about ‘his program’

'He fumbles, repeats himself, and starts sweating’: CEO steals sole credit for his employee's work, then he gets burned in an international meeting when she refuses to help him answer questions about ‘his program’

Boss demands to have meetings at employee's house instead of the office, leading him to visit her late at night, until she asks him to stop: ‘Last night I saw his car parked at my driveway’

Boss demands to have meetings at employee's house instead of the office, leading him to visit her late at night, until she asks him to stop: ‘Last night I saw his car parked at my driveway’

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