snapchat

If you're going to suffer an epic life FAIL you better capture it on social media for all of us to enjoy!

This coked out idiot must've been on one to take a snapchat / let multiple snapchat videos be taken of him amidst his dance with the Bolivian Marching Powder. Let it be a lesson to us all --- social media and drugs mix about as well as toothpaste and orange juice, kiddos. Hopefully Ian Kahaloa can get the help he needs to get back on track, and didn't entirely blow his shot at playing in the big leagues. 

Okay, so locking might've been a bit of an understatement in this particular scenario. Yes, it would seem in an especially brash attempt to teach their daughter a lesson these parents took away her bedroom's damn doorknob. Let the hilarity ensue...

This disastrous, sex tale of debauchery walked right off an American Pie movie set. It's absurd, in every sense of the word. No amount of sex education could have prepared these two young lovers for the epic amount of humiliation they'd tee themselves up for. I especially appreciate the girl's decision to recount her struggles with Snapchat and memes, as her writer's tools. Is this not the height of new age social media-driven journalism, or what dawg? Doesn't get much better than this. This is the kind of gripping entertainment that almost made me forget about the unfortunate reality we're still trucking through Monday.