secrets

Everyone is lying to their kids about something. The difference is in the size of the lie. Some parents hid enormous, life-changing secrets from their kids. Other parents are stealthy about the amount of ice cream in the house that their kids don't know about. On the lighter side of parental lies, here are 29 of the funniest lies parents told their kids.

Nobody's family is perfectly normal, but some people's families are more interesting. And maybe not in the best ways. Some are more trivial and embarrassing, like liking pineapple pizza. Some are family shattering, like secret families. Reminds us of this girl who figured out her family secrets by taking a blood test in college.

Sure, there's the classics like "when I say I'm not thinking about anything I'm actually not thinking about anything" but that's just the tip of the iceberg. In most cases it's helpful to know what's going on in someone else's head. Except when it's absolutely disgusting. We tried not to include too much, but some got through anyway.

We're not sure who's more shocked here; The retail worker who learned the power symbol isn't a camera, or the tech support dude who had to tell them?

Before you go checking to see what Facebook thinks of your political leanings, see what weird and helpful features are hidden in the things you use on a daily basis.

Kids remember everything.

Turns out your teachers DID talk about you behind your back.

This'll probably make you think a little harder about your own childhood.

Does every good looking thing have to be fake? Yes, yes it does. Your home cooking will never be as appetizing as shoe polish and motor oil. Now pour yourself a glass of soap and read up.

Blood is thicker than water, you say? Think twice.

Turns out strangers are actually pretty funny.

We all have secrets, good or bad, that would drastically change the way that others perceive us. Although, for most of us, probably not to the degree of some of these insane stories.

These secrets forever changed the way that these people looked at people in their lives. 

Everyone has those little secrets that they keep from the world. Those relatively small things that would kill us inside if people found out about them. 

Disclaimer: Stiff shot of cringe is imminent. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to finding out your cousin's a porn star, bro. Thoughts go out to that guy with a very confusing erection.