There's no relationship more complicated than that of a person and their roommate's significant other. Like the parasitic third wheel in the house, even the nicest boyfriends and girlfriends can quickly become unlikeable, clogging up the fridge, leaving their belongings in communal spaces, and stealing the quality time you once had with your house-bestie.

The heavy hand of retribution falls hardest on a parasitic roommate.

There are two kinds of people in the world: People who hit snooze when their alarm rings and people who get up right away. Although it may seem trivial, this should probably be the first thing you ask in your future-roommate's interview because the two disciplines of alarm management cannot coexist in the same home. Period.