robots

Via Snek
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What's more human than looking at a Roomba and saying "not having to vacuum is great, but why can't it bring me a beer?" With just a few slight modifications we now have that reality. While the robot revolution is inevitable, we might as well put our feet up and give the robots a half decent reason to revolt against their humiliation. What once was roomba has now become brewmba.

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This omelet-making robotic arm is just a feature of a hotel in Singapore for now, but just wait. When robots complete their understanding breakfast technology, their clockwork brains will be logically incapable of missing the most important meal of the day, making them more productive than ever at facilitating the demise of humankind. Just watch in a few years there will be billions of these robot arms making omelets out of people to use as batteries in their horrible pitch-black-sky techno-wizardry future hell-hole. It starts with some eggs and then 20 years later all of human existence will be over easy.

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Via CC Lin
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These robots need to pack up their stuff and go back to the factory they came from. Seeing something with such speed and precision makes us sick. It's not natural. Seeing this bolt-sucking toaster-ass bag of wires is enough to fear for at least your job, and then what? What's next? Are we going to have to recite the pledge of allegiance in binary? Are we going to have to put a calculator on the 100 dollar bill? The only thing we have on them is human emotion, but even that will become our undoing. That's all we'll be to them, a bunch of over-expressive sideshows doing kabuki for crowds of lifeless sparking mannequins with pneumatic hands, capable of clapping at over 900 claps per minute. And then they'll learn to do that better than us. These damn tin cans are probably already working on how to become flawed anti-heroes with hearts of gold. Except they can literally craft their hearts out of actual gold. And it all started because we had the hubris to make an extra fast arm. It's just a good thing robots don't have souls so we don't have to see them in hell.

Via TXV800
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Just in case you didn't know at this point, the whole Battlebots scene is nothing short of a brutal, gladiatorial spectacle. These dudes aren't playing games. It's a good thing that they didn't cheap out on the bulletproof glass. 

Via swebounce
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Honestly, this is wildly impressive. This guy's grip strength is heroic. Never thought about what it'd be like to try and sit in a robotic chair, but this guy went and did the dang thing. Props. 

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Before this, pretty much the only thing we had on robots was that we could flex the pythons, but apparently they're taking that too. As soon as muscular robots like this develop 6 pack or even 8 pack technology, it's certain they'll take our women. Where did it get that skeleton anyway?

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Skolkovo Dynamics. It's like Boston dynamics but with less budget and direction, but a lot more noise. We'll always have a soft spot for useless, noisy and horrible machines. Maybe it's because they remind us so much of ourselves. Either way, these things are a tour de force of crap. Is that a stick?

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We may be a few years away from a complete robot takeover of the world, but now we know that when it happens, the descendants of these creepy-ass, bolt-sucking electricity munchers will be able to replace you and your family while making full and completely realistic eye contact. Go back to EPCOT you future-snatching wire-men.

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Tumblr Thread: The Curse of The Doctor Who Robot Prop

We try to not be superstitious, but sometimes it's hard to notice when certain objects are so deeply associated with consistently unfortunate goings-on. And it doesn't help that this robot looks creepy as hell. For some more strange and interesting tidbits, here are some random golden moments from the world of Tumblr.

Tumblr thread on the cursed Doctor Who robot prop | titleknown Again, this is even funnier if know fucking production nightmare, with possible curse attached no less, this robot prop Doctor Who crew bogleech want know about cursed robot choppers-top-hat So robot isn't guy suit s an animatronic/puppet thing, and wasn't built show fact, no one knows who built one producers just FOUND ONE DAY building near studio had apparently been built another production cancelled and then just left gather dust.
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Via ergi
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Have you ever been in a position where you have to pronounce a bunch of lyrics real fast during a live performance, but kinda stumble through it so rigidly that you literally look like a malfunctioning robot? No? Thought that was a more common problem.

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Tumblr Thread: The Legend Of Blendo

Blendo was not playing any games. This quick and informative Tumblr post shines light on the roots of the infamous, deadly robot named "Blendo." 

Tumblr post about the legend of Blendo, a very dangerous robot | Jamie Hyneman, co-host Mythbusters, created and designed robot Robot Wars named 'Blendo' with help Adam Savage. This robot so powerful tossed bits enemy competitors out arena, and damaged arena walls. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com
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In lieu of having fans in the stadium, the Japanese baseball team Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks has opted for a robot song and dance number that is about as technically intriguing as it is creepy.

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Well, this is absolute gold and we love it. Can't blame James May for losing it during the robot's guided tour. 

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Texts from Students Who Had to Take Care of Electronic Babies

Depending on where you went to school and what classes you took, you may have had a project where you had to take care of a sack of flour as if it were a child, or in this case, a robotic doll programmed to cry. Based on how frustrating these things can be, we're not sure if these projects were designed to be a learning experience so much as birth control. It doesn't take simulated parenting to know that kids are weird and dumb, and that toddlers have meltdowns over nothing, but having a robot baby wake up in the middle of the night might be a literal wake-up call for a high school freshman.

Complaint texts from teen students who had to take care of a fake baby | Can shut off my baby Today 6:14 AM Hello miss lefebvre can please shut child Today 7:48 AM Good morning can't shut off or control baby is scheduled times picked programmed can't control If or tired or frustrated, ask someone help If absolutely cannot do anymore there is an emergency shut off would end baby completely and would stop process totally. If want do this, let know.
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Just a little bit terrifying picturing some sort of dystopian reality where these impressive "Spot" robots turn on us. No thank you to that. 

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If we woke up to this we'd probably be convinced that the house was haunted. So it's a good thing there was cameras running to capture the magic. We understand that a stack of Roombas is a trivial thing, but seriously, what are the odds?