pumpkins

The moral of this story is clearly for us all to hold onto that one thing in life that provides us unparalleled joy. It could be something as silly as pumpkin spice everything from the local pumpkin farm, or those red cup holiday beverages from Starbucks. Point is, life's just a little bit more joyful when we're able to retain a bit of our childlike wonder. 

For some more gold from Tumblr, check out this thread about the crude king of satire, Skweezy Jibbs.

Spooky season inspires all kinds of ridiculous nonsense. With that being said, we can't say that we've ever encountered this kind of situation, involving one person wanting to put a birthday hat on their neighbor's pumpkin. It is a pretty dang petty move that could go on to inspire a full-fledged war between the neighbors. 

Ghosts are one thing, but so many working adults hate their jobs so much that the thought of death might actually be a welcome surprise. What truly sends a chill up someone's spine is waking up to 3 missed calls from your boss and and a text that says "where are you." For some creative spookiness, here are some two sentence horror stories.

The people that carved these spellbinding works of art are GIFTED. 

Crowds of wildly excited folks gathered round at Black Fox Distillery to watch utterly colossal pumpkins fall from a crane, and absolutely pulverize a car/unleash a mountain of candy (stuffed pumpkin). The proceeds for the event went towards a pediatric fund. 

Well, some creative and inspired people out there got it in their heads to decorate their doorsteps with Pennywise-themed pumpkins. If the goal here's to ward off the pestilent waves of hungry-eyed, sugardrunk trick-or-treaters with pieces of pure horror....then mission accomplished. 

Thanks to the massively impressive and utterly horrifying achievement that the most recent, "It" movie damn well was, The Year of the Clown is in full swing, folks. Yes, the modern take on Pennywise from "It" effortlessly spotlights how (alarmingly) far the movie industry's come in the way of special effects/makeup. I wish I was exaggerating when I say that the trailer for the movie alone smacked me with some stress sweats, and definitely hijacked some sleep. 

This idea has probably been around for a while, due to Donald Trump's unfortunate likeness to a pumpkin in the first place, but it's REALLY taking off this year. Everyone is talking about it, EVERYONE. These pumpkins are just tremendous, this trend will be huge.