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Probably bad News

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It Was a Man, Not a Cat, Who Got Stuck in a Tree While Going After a Pet Parrot

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A Man Suffered Serious Injuries After Running Over His Own Head While Putting Out a Cigarette Fire

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Via 9News
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Reports of Apathetic Orange Cats Have Yet to be Confirmed

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Via Bad Newspaper
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Christmas Comes Early as This Woman Tries to Climb Down Her New Boyfriend's Chimney

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Now is Not the Time for Food Puns

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The Hunt is On for Two of the Silliest Looking Thieves Ever

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Via Metro

That's a Unit of Measurement?

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Via Brown Cardigan

Send This Post Off to Never Never Land

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The "Ebola Tracker" App Looks Ominous, but It's Here to Warn You About the Real Danger: Hysteria

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Via Business Insider
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US Airways Gets Backlash After Refusing to Hang Up the Dress Blues of an Armed Services Member

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Here's Some Criminals Who Are Really Terrible at Their Jobs

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A Woman Turned Herself in to the Authorities so They Would Remove Her Unflattering Photo From Their Facebook Page

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Via Business Insider

The "Idiot Stick" Goes Both Ways

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Via SuperDanisaurus

Just Parse This Out if You Can

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Via Bad Newspaper
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Amid Protests in Hong Kong, the Daughter of a Major Officials Thanks the Taxpayers for Buying Her Diamonds

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Via Boing Boing

Now Just Imagine if the Genders Were Reversed...

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Via Trigger__happy
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