prison

"Okay! Post-electro-industrial grindcore pop fans in Cell A, chillwave dance-funk fans in Cell B!"

OMG MOM I H8 U

Y IS MY LIFE SO BAD

From the submitter:

We were gonna have him jumped in on his 5th birthday but we had cake and a water balloon fight instead.

If there's anything that discourages kids from a life of crime, it's an anthropomorphic penis (yes, penis - to a 6-year-old, "weiner" and "penis" are the same thing) with big googly eyes. That'd scare me away faster than the former convicts working the cash register.

~OLJ

To be fair, asking for a divorce "in the afterglow of intercourse" wouldn't make much sense.