You're a marked man, buddy!
I mustache you not to laugh, these majestic pieces of facial hair are a man's (or woman's) crowning show of vigor. Some may just grow it out endlessly, others may style it, and still others create a diorama of the Battle of Gettysburg from their lip whiskers. So enjoy how far someone can take a mustache joke and check out these memes and gifs all about the stash.
... where there exists an evil version of everyone.
He'll try to lick his elbow from now until forever to make this work.