millionaire

What a power move when he phoned up his old man just to tell him that he was about to take home that million dollars. John seems like one of those human beings who just walks around with an encyclopedia in the back of his brain. 

Millionaire Benjamin Chen crashed his 750,000 dollar Gemballa Mirage GT into a parked van while speeding through the empty-ish streets of Manhattan. With shocked onlookers recording the whole thing, he started her back up and tried to get away. Hopefully whoever owns that van doesn't have to pay a nickel.

The rich person feeling the effects of gentrification. Wow. 

Okay, it's probably way less than a million after taxes, but that won't stop us from appreciating the luck it took to land on that million dollar sliver.

If you're blessed with such a unique gift, isn't it wrong not to share that gift with the world? And make seven figures off of it? Hazel Jones of the U.K. doesn't think so, as she's declined offer from adult entertainment company Vivid of a first-class trip to L.A. and a million dollars to explore all the possibilities of the twin caves in her southern hemisphere.

You know, her Double Dipper. Her Double Your Pleasure. Her Two For The Show. Her Double Trouble. Her It Takes Two. Her Thing 1 and Thing 2. Her Double Header. Her Double-O Agent. Her Pink Taco Combo Platter.

I got a million of 'em!

Now if only we could do away with those pesky 40-hour-a-week rules... I know! If we got rid of minimum wage, I'd be able to work for less and my boss would give me more hours! #trollpolitics

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