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Gotta love that mention of "The Next Bill Gates?" It's been over a decade and sadly we haven't heard of Episoft. It's fine and dandy to build your own computer using old parts, and you can't knock them for ambition, but the way he talks about phoenixes rising from ashes is just awesome. You can expect a lot from a slow news day in Maine.

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Tumblr User Follows Bob Ross with MS Paint And It Actually Works

Alright, this is downright, straight up, all around impressive. And the final result was good enough that you could tell the trees were pretty happy. Tumblr users are a creative bunch, doing stuff like writing an alien invasion story where the aliens are fought off by wildlife or expounding on wacky historical facts. Seriously, following along with MS Paint is brilliant and highly commendable.

Tumblr user follows Bob Ross with MS Paint and makes good painting.
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As if this wasn't already a cringeworthy mess, it looks like there's a lady shoplifting in the middle of the dance. 

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Xbox Released Its Own Body Wash and People Had Jokes

Does it smell like an Xbox? Does it smell like a person who plays Xbox? Why do you need to smell like Xbox? Anyway if you go to Australia you can find out, but who the hell would pay real actual money to smell like Xbox branded soap?

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"BING YOU'RE FIRED!" Sit back and enjoy an angry ex-Microsoft employee retelling the last sound he heard before getting fired at Microsoft:Bing. That Groundhog Day reference though! 

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25 Mindblowing Hidden Features in Everyday Products

Before you go checking to see what Facebook thinks of your political leanings, see what weird and helpful features are hidden in the things you use on a daily basis.

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Hilarious Job Posting Might've Actually Been Created On Microsoft Paint

For the sake of this company's graphic design department, we really hope this is just clever humor at play. 

Ridiculous job posting looking for graphic designer might very well have been created on Microsoft Paint.
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What a time to be alive...via The Seattle Times:

A few days after Microsoft released Windows 10 to the public last year, Teri Goldstein’s computer started trying to download and install the new operating system.

The update, which she says she didn’t authorize, failed. Instead, the computer she uses to run her Sausalito, Calif., travel-agency business slowed to a crawl. It would crash, she says, and be unusable for days at a time.

“I had never heard of Windows 10,” Goldstein said. “Nobody ever asked me if I wanted to update.”

When outreach to Microsoft’s customer support didn’t fix the issue, Goldstein took the software giant to court, seeking compensation for lost wages and the cost of a new computer.

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And so soon after Jobs passed away? Scandalous! What will the neighbors say?