mashup

i started singing 'chemtrails' in the tune to the ducktales theme a half hour ago so i just had to make this real quick: pic.twitter.com/Gmf83VpsyA

— lionel nietzsche (@hateshaliek) February 7, 2017

What's better than conspiracy theories? That's right, DuckTales.

The wacky Saturday-morning adventures of Huey, Dewey, Louie, their Uncle Scrooge, and, of course, Launchpad McQuack could only be made better by the non-sensical ravings of professional garbage spewer Alex Jones. So this genius Twitter user answered the call of millions and stuck Jones ranting about "chemtrails" and "gay bombs," and, Jesus, is it great. 

This video makes me feel like I'm diving into a pool of gold coins. 

via GIPHY

Mario's good at a lot of things: Running, jumping, getting big, turning into a fire dude, being a doctor, plumbing, painting, and driving a go kart. 

One thing he's not particularly good at is being a real-live human being. 

YouTuber CrowbCat made a few modifications to the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, the game that sticks Mario in a realistic urban setting, which only highlights how weird looking Mario really is. He did them one better, stucking a 6-foot tall Mario inside Grand Theft Auto, so you can see how gross it is for Mario to go to the strip club. Weird. 

See: 



via CrowbCat

The idea of Mario, not only disrespecting Peach this way, but also engaging in any type of sexual situation makes me sick to my stomach. But aside from that, you can see Mario drive and explode in a helicopter, fall off a building, and meet a hail of gunfire at the hands of the Liberty City Police. 



via CrowbCat

This needs to be waaay longer than just 7 minutes.