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Woman Live-Tweets Cringe-Soaked Coffee Date Gone Wrong

This insufferable douchecanoe looks like James Franco, so it's all good. Except not. Not at all. 

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Employee Live-Tweets Hysterical Hunt For Mystery Coworker That Had Accident On Office Floor

You can't make this sh*t up. This immaculate, far-fetched Twitter thread will forever be the gift that keeps on giving. We're glad they were able to track down the culprit by the tale's end. 

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Comedian Live-Tweets How Insane Michael Jackson's Thriller Date Actually Would've Been

As it unsurprisingly turns out, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" date was pretty damn terrifying from the girl's perspective. 

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