live tweet

"I'm watching natural selection happen in real time." A woman's coworker brings raw chicken to the office, and fortunately for us, she was ready to live tweet the harrowing experience. All becomes undone, as stomachs wrestle what sounds like a solid case of food poisoning. 

When this stepdad heard loud noises coming from his stepson's bedroom some time around 4am, he pieced together that there was a special visitor around. Meanwhile, the kid's mom either actually had no idea, or put on the show that she didn't, that her son was hosting a one-night-stand. From there, the morning after followed. And we get to enjoy a very surprised stepdad Twitter document his running reactions to the unaware mom, and smoothly secretive stepson. 

Welp, that took a really dark turn at the end. Christmas will never be the same...

What we have here is a harrowing tale depicting the closest living thing we have to Satan. You might find yourself grinding your teeth by the end of the story. 

Author Daniel José Older got an alarming surprise when he realized that someone checked into his room under his name.

It must be wonderful to have this level of ignorant confidence. 

This is a disaster of biblical proportions. Damn. 

The emotional rollercoaster we never asked for, but damn well need. Buckle up and enjoy the ride. 

This conversation erred on the side of absolutely comically absurd. 

This insufferable douchecanoe looks like James Franco, so it's all good. Except not. Not at all. 

A+ act of trolling here! 

This man is a legend, as is the lady who delivers the pizza!

You can't make this sh*t up. This immaculate, far-fetched Twitter thread will forever be the gift that keeps on giving. We're glad they were able to track down the culprit by the tale's end. 

Jimmy Johns out here going above and beyond for 5-start customer service! 

As it unsurprisingly turns out, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" date was pretty damn terrifying from the girl's perspective. 

Talk about one thrilling emotional rollercoaster with a deep relief of an ending.