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Common Phrases That Are Complete BS

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share their hot takes on those common sayings that are actually total BS. The resulting answers might come across as pretty bleak. 

A collection of common AskReddit sayings that are total BS | posted by animalboat Everything happens for reason annoying infuriating meaningless empty words hollow
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Guy Tries To Pretend He Doesn't Know English, Fails Hard

This guy made a grave mistake. And that mistake was one of him trying to tell a lady asking for money that he didn't speak English, while he very well did the whole time. It's tough to pull off the whole "I don't speak your language" thing when you're literally speaking their language right back to them. 

Guy tries to pretend that he doesn't know English and he fails miserably | MrWittyResponse TIFU by telling lady asking money didn't speak English perfect English So late at night and had make stop at gas station fill up my car. This lady comes up wearing this really baggy hoodie. Judging by appearances she seemed be substance abuser. She says she's pregnant and needs some cash pay her motel room really wasn't buying she
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Tumblr Thread Shows The Full Versions of Classic Sayings

Somewhere along the way, classic idioms and sayings with two parts got shortened to the first one, and everyone's just been using them wrong for a while. Tumblr gets itself into spirals of informative weirdness, like this Tumblr thread that actually makes history fun.

Tumblr thread shows real meanings of classic sayings | phrase curiosity killed cat is actually not full phrase actually is curiosity killed cat but satisfaction brought back so don't let anyone tell not be curious little baby okay go and be interested world. See also Blood is thicker than water, blood covenant is thicker than water womb. Meaning relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.
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Bilinguals That Overheard People Without Them Knowing

Someone on AskReddit asked for bilinguals to share their experiences with overhearing other folks that had no idea they could understand them. If there's one valuable lesson in this particular form of "overheards", it's that you never know who's listening! 

A collection of AskReddit replies to bilinguals sharing their experiences with overhearing people | post by cmichael00 high school spoke Spanish fairly well not common time and my area family buying groceries, and as ringing up items father said "he has not seen stuff on bottom, dont get rank up on belt, and sat there, after few moments asked about stuff on bottom. They would not look at next 2 mins or so transaction.
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Dumb Mistranslated Tattoos and Shirts that People Witnessed

In this wide world, we see a lot of hilarious translations and translation fails. Languages are complex and hard to understand completely. These frustratingly interesting observations on language and silly literal translations are a good example of that. This can come to a head when overzealous tourists try to get a tattoo in not only a language they don't understand, but in characters that are also completely foreign to them. Case in point, you don't want to misstep and end up as the "goldfish man"

Mistranslations and tattoo fails people saw.
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Funny Observations on Language that are Frustratingly Interesting

We know that languages are all weird, and the one we use can be particularly confusing, but that can make it a more fun and nuanced thing to explore. We're all for seeing some creative uses and misuses of the English language. If you just wanna see people totally suck at English, then here are people who failed at using the English language.

Funny and interesting observations on languages.
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People Share Overly Literal and Goofy Translations from Various Languages

Learning the words for things in other languages can be particularly eye opening. From overly literal German translations like "hand shoes" to more poetic euphemisms you'd never think you'd hear, every culture has come up with it's own particular brand of funny words for things. For more, here are non-native English speakers sharing common phrases they wish we had.

Funny and literal translations and phrases from different languages.
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Twitter Users Learn What Just Deserts Means

Well well, how about that? You learn a new thing every day! Turns out a whole lot of us have been going around dropping the term, "just deserts" in an improper fashion. Seems to be a commonly shared fail. 

Twitter users end up learning what "just deserts" really means.
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Guy's Translation Fail Results In Him Filling Up His Petrol Car With Diesel

Sometimes the language barrier can hurt you more than others. In this case, the guy thought that "gasoleo" would get the job done for him, when he went to fill up his Petrol car. Unfortunately, that actually translated to Diesel, and he found himself in quite the bind, and in need of a mechanic. Fortunately he was able to resolve the issue, and move forward. But you gotta love the fail! 

Guy's language translation fail results in him filling up his Petrol car with Diesel.
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The English Language Being Infuriatingly Confusing (39 Images)

The English language is frustratingly confusing, and seems to make zero sense at times. The following list of definitions, sayings, terms, etc. serve as a solid testament to the fact. For such a widespread language, it has an uncanny knack for confusing the shit out of people. If you're looking for more language struggles, it's worth checking out the following times people utterly failed at their spelling attempts.

A collection of confusing sentences and definitions that show how the English language makes no sense at times.
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Rude Chinese Customer Doesn't Know White Cashier Speaks Mandarin Chinese

This rude Chinese customer assumed from a point of ignorance that their white cashier wouldn't understand what they were saying, if they spoke in Mandarin Chinese. That's where they couldn't have been more wrong. Don't go judging a book by its cover, and better yet, assume that someone in the room always understands what you're saying. 

chinese customer speaks rudely to woman who turns out to speak chinese
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Tumblr Post About Patriarchal Culture Gets Schooled By Linguist

Call the burn unit! This linguist took a Tumblr user's post, and absolutely destroyed. And they did it with the cold, hard logic from the linguistics field. A job well done, indeed. 

breaking down the word human
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19 Non-Native English Speakers Share Phrases They Wish We Had

Wouldn't it be simpler to have a single word that encapsulates the concept of getting drunk in your underwear? Wouldn't it be amazing to be able to call someone an "orthopedic walking cane" out of hate? These options and many more lie waiting to be discovered in the world's many wonderful languages. For some English wins and fails, here are some incredible uses and misuses of the English language.

words and phrases that don't exist in the english language
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20 Incredible Uses and Misuses of the English Language

English is a complex and weird language, made out of sutured together bastardizations of dozens of other languages. It's got confusing tenses and conflicting rules all over the place. Here are some fun applications of English, as well as a few miserable but funny misapplications of the language. For more interesting stuff about the English Language, here's a tumblr thread deconstructing the actual meanings of popular figures of speech.

weird english rule
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Via Dt toyNN
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Anyone who's struggling to learn a new language will connect deeply and painfully with this poor Japanese girl getting progressively worse at saying, "refrigerator." She's trying her very best...