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A collection of AskReddit replies to what people think are the funniest insults | Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick

The Funniest Insults People Have Heard

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A collection of the silliest excuses people used on police officers giving out speeding tickets. | Billbapawpaw 4h My brother is cop. He said one guy told him saw wife cheating on nanny cam and l'm trying get home confront them during act" He gave him an escort.

Drivers' Silliest Excuses To Get Out Of Speeding Tickets

Quite the imaginations on these folks.
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A man shares a Twitter thread about his observations on his first proper Christmas. | Mohammad Hussain @MohammadHussain Growing up, my Muslim family never celebrated Christmas. This year am not going home, because pandemic, so my roommates are teaching have my first proper Christmas am approaching this with anthropological precision. Here are few observations.

Twitter Thread: A Man's Observations On First Proper Christmas

Happy holidays to all.
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A collection of the funniest posts from people using the Nextdoor app | Thanksgiving is over is now acceptable put up Christmas decor. On my command, open flood gates.

Hilarious Holiday Posts From Neighbors On Nextdoor

Tis the season.
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low budget remaking the dune trailer cracked movies

Cracked Recreates "Dune" With $20, Hilarity Ensues

Gold.
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video compilations wins successes

Wins of the Week - December 2020

Sometimes humans don't fail.
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People describe short and clean jokes that never fail to get the laughs. | erobed2 11h 3 8 2 Awards Plateaus are highest form flattery.

Short And Clean Jokes That Always Get The Laughs

Clean and on point.
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A quick Tumblr post appreciates riddles | teaboot love weirdly specific rules go with answering riddle. Like Have Two Eyes But Cannot See Am And answer's supposed be word 'iridescent' because 'two s' right, but like. Why can't answer be like guy with really bad cataracts. Someone wearing blindfold. My uncle's dog. Like why does gotta be deep teaboot have face but no eyes lips or nose am Slenderman. Next

A Quick Tumblr Post Appreciating Riddles

Riddles are a ball.
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A funny Tumblr thread about how Magenta isn't a real color after all | astercrash Follow Watching human technological developments has be really stressful aliens because every time look like going invent something even remotely cool immediately use hurt another human. astercrash Follow Human gets stick* Alien: yes Human grabs rock* Alien: YES Human invents hammer* Alien: YESYESYESYES Human murders his neighbour Thagbar* Alien: god FUCKING dammit 7,684 notes

Random Gems From Tumblr's Wandering Minds

Gotta keep on Tumblin.
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People describe the funniest things that they've ever seen at weddings | Back2Bach 1d bride's long train went out front doors and part-way down steps as she awaited processional begin. Unknown her little dog neighborhood went sleep on her train and "came along ride" as she approached altar ceremony begin.

Funniest Things People Have Seen At Weddings

Doggo needed a power nap.
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A funny collection of posts from the satirical king of the internet, Skweezy Jibbs | MY SONS ZOOM CLASS RAGGIN ON HIM 4 WEARIN PINK O SO DYED MY HAIR 2 SHOW HIM BOYS CAN WEAR PINK 2 BUT NOW MY WHOLE BATHROOM IS STAINED PINK O STRAIGHT UP LOOKS LIKE SLAUGHTERED JIGGLYPUFF MY TUB | Where r u 14:11 IF ED UP 14:11 14:11 WENT 2 INDIA NOT INDIANA 14:11 Just tell u dont love 14:23 14:26 f k 14:29 HELP 14:29

Tumblr Thread: The Crude King Of Satire, Skweezy Jibbs

This man is a treasure.
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Tumblr thread about alarm clock sending out nasty tweets | spritepepsi Follow had dream last night my alarm connected twitter and everytime hit snooze publicly tweeted with disparaging little message along lines filthy horrible boy has slapped screen again, and slumbers on" so followers could shame and deeply, DEEPLY humiliated but did not stop hitting snooze upwards 14 times

Tumblr Post: Man Builds Devilish Twitter Alarm Clock

Seems very effective.
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A funny Tumblr thread about the adventures of an extreme chompin T-Rex | TYRANNOSAURUS REX 29.90 WORLD walking through toy aisle at Target found this thing and had VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK JP first came out and they had bunch REALLY COOLT Rex toys would have sold one my scrawny small-child limbs but my mother wouldn't get one because they were "too violent and also ate people bunjywunjy hnn WANT SO BAD

Tumblr Thread: Radical Adventures Of An Extreme Chompin T-Rex

A T-Rex unlike any of the others.
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Tumblr thread breaks down the history of the color purple in lyrical flow | gallusrostromegalus S aerialsquid Follow satanpositive Roses are red much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue. feels fictional have been waiting this post all my life.

Tumblr Thread: The Lyrical History Of The Color Purple

The flow is on point.
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A collection of totally random yet funny moments from the world of Tumblr | krisadilli get comfortable with people start using them as pillows and foot rests themindprobe get used as pillow or foot rest feel loved ashton-irwin-belongs am both these people Source: krisadilli 599,937 notes

Totally Random Tumblr Tidbits Of Pure Golden Proportions

Good old Tumblr.
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funny story by blind comedian about neighbor

Blind Comedian Tells Story Of Time He Thought Neighbor Ignored Him

He's just Australian in his head.
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