hot pockets

So good, so painful. 

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Last week the USDA recalled over 8 million pounds of "diseased and unsound" meat sold in six states. The leading offender in potentiall-zombie-inducing meat product? Hot Pockets. The idea of unsound meat inside the lil' grease pouches is all the more disconcerting given that it is physically impossible to cook a Hot Pocket through all the way in a conventional non-nuclear microwave. So, for clarification: Diseased, unsound, and partially frozen meat.

All to You Got What I Need by Biz Markie

"I believe it was so hot that it allowed me to temporarily gain the gift of human speech, seeing as I'm a frogman and all tha-ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit."