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Steak-Umm's Fantasy Twitter Thread About Battling a Hot Pocket Hoard Is Absolutely Epic

Steak-Umm's went OFF on Twitter yesterday. Last we heard from them they were unleashing a millennial-focused rant. See here. This new thread found its inspiration from Valiant Comics and their tweet grouping them with Hot Pockets. As it turns out there's a lot more to the picture than we previously assumed. Their history is one marked by gritty determination, volatile chaos, and even exile. I just really hope the internet steps up to crank out some fan art for this. The world needs it like nobody's business. 

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Last week the USDA recalled over 8 million pounds of "diseased and unsound" meat sold in six states. The leading offender in potentiall-zombie-inducing meat product? Hot Pockets. The idea of unsound meat inside the lil' grease pouches is all the more disconcerting given that it is physically impossible to cook a Hot Pocket through all the way in a conventional non-nuclear microwave. So, for clarification: Diseased, unsound, and partially frozen meat.

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"I believe it was so hot that it allowed me to temporarily gain the gift of human speech, seeing as I'm a frogman and all tha-ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit."