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How to Get From Win to Fail in .0001 Seconds

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Talking to Girls is Like Everything I Can't Do

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The Male Version Would Include Don Draper and Napoleon Dynamite

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Autocowrecks: The Car Ate Him

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And Say It To My Face

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Smooth Operator

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Your Prince Won't Come That Way

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From Captain Ahab to Captain Still Mad

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Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

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I Held Mittens to My Bosom and Watched the Rain Fall Outside My Window

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Via Overdramatic Teenage Girls

Autocowrecks: Sapping Me of My Will to Fashion

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He'll Keep You Up All Night

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No, I Insist, You Make the First Move

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He Must Think He's Pretty... HUMERUS. DURHURHUR.

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Autocowrecks: You're Like a Fluffy Widdle Bunny That NEVER RETURNS MY CALLS

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I See My Reputation Precedes Me

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